Cretaceous Pit-Stop Chicken Parm Rigatoni

WHAT YOU'LL NEED

Ingredients

• 16 pieces (about 450 g)Frozen dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets
• 340 g (12 oz)Rigatoni pasta
• 500 ml (2 cups)Marinara sauce
• 170 g (1 1/2 cups)Shredded low-moisture mozzarella
• 45 g (1/2 cup)Finely grated Parmesan
• 4Black garlic cloves, mashed
• 2 tablespoonsBalsamic vinegar
• 1 tablespoonHoney
• 2 tablespoonsExtra-virgin olive oil
• 1 tablespoonUnsalted butter
• 1 teaspoonDried oregano
• 1/4 teaspoonRed pepper flakes
• 1 tablespoon for the pasta water, plus more to tasteKosher salt
• 1/2 cupFresh basil leaves
• 1 teaspoonBlack sesame seeds

MAKE IT

Method

1. 01

   Heat the oven to 220°C (425°F). Arrange the dinosaur nuggets on a lined sheet pan in strict geological formation. Bake according to the package directions until crisp and fully cooked, generally 12–16 minutes. These ancient beasts demand punctuality.

2. 02

   Bring a large pot of water to a boil, salt it, and add the rigatoni. Cook until just shy of al dente according to the package directions. Announce that the PVC pipes are now municipally approved, despite being pasta and therefore structurally useless.

3. 03

   Meanwhile, combine the mashed black garlic, balsamic vinegar, honey, 1 tablespoon olive oil, butter, and red pepper flakes in a small saucepan. Simmer over medium-low heat for 3–4 minutes, stirring, until glossy and slightly thickened. This is the edible “car oil.” Do not source it from a vehicle unless your vehicle is a balsamic vineyard.

4. 04

   Drain the rigatoni and return it to the pot. Fold in the marinara, oregano, remaining olive oil, and half the Parmesan. Stir with the confidence of someone repairing the Colosseum using only a wooden spoon.

5. 05

   Transfer the sauced rigatoni to a 23-by-33-cm (9-by-13-inch) baking dish. Cover with mozzarella and the remaining Parmesan. Bake for 10–12 minutes, until the cheese bubbles like a volcanic insurance claim.

6. 06

   Position the crisp dinosaur nuggets across the molten pasta landscape. Drizzle sparingly with the black-garlic “car oil,” creating elegant skid marks worthy of a Michelin-starred parking garage.

7. 07

   Scatter over basil and black sesame seeds. Serve immediately, preferably while making reversing-beeps and refusing to explain why the dinosaurs have taken control of public infrastructure.